Eternal Snow
by M.P-chan
Summary: For Shinichi726: A late Christmas fanfic. Shopping alone on Christmas Eve, Ran is missing her favorite detective. Ran Mori x Shinichi Kudo songfic


M.P-chan: Hi! This is **M.P-chan**! Merry Christmas! XD (even though it was a really long time ago) This was written for **Shinichi726** as a christmas present and inspired by a scene I saw in a movie. **Shinichi726 **had a few requests that I listed at the end (so I don't spoil anything). Anyway, the song is Eternal Snow by the band Changin' My Life. You'd recognize it from the anime Full Moon o Sagoshite (Searching for a Full Moon). It's a pretty song and it worked really nicely for a Christmas fanfiction. Please Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Eternal Snow (the song).

_Pork, Sake, Butter, Whiskey, Eggnog, Wine, Cookies, Beer, Cigarettes, More Beer._ Ran looked over the Grocery list and then back down at her shopping bags. She thought she got everything. Suddenly, something cold and light touched her nose. She looked up at the sky, millions of tiny flakes were starting to fall from the dark clouds that coated the sky.

It was going to be a white Christmas, the shounen tantei would be pleased. She giggled at their nickname, but it came with a sadness. Though they still called themselves the Shounen Tantei, Conan was no longer with them. He'd returned to his parents three weeks ago. He'd sent a letter saying he was fine and missed her too, but was glad to be back with his parents. She missed him much more than she had expected. He'd always been there, but now . . . she was alone.

A light caught her eye. A huge tree larger than any she had ever seen was centered in a plaza, covered in colored light and sparkling ornaments. It was quite a site to behold! The tree seemed to embody the spirit of Christmas, bringing loved ones together in celebration.

Only a few feet away a girl ran past Ran into the arms of her waiting lover. It was a warming scene that was just like movie. Ran had to admit, she was a little jealous. Her own special person (or rather, the boy she wished would be her special person) was never around, she hadn't seen him in months and hadn't spoken to him in a week. Even now, on Christmas Eve, she was alone, while he was off solving cases. Even so, she wasn't mad. After all, he was going to be alone on Christmas Eve too, and she knew that wasn't something that he'd been looking forward to.

Oh, Shinichi. She couldn't see him tonight, but _when_? _When_ was he going to come back? He'd told her to wait but for how long? And she hadn't said it yet. Those three pesky little words that she never seemed to have the right amount of courage to say. And by the time she _had_ built up the nerve, he'd disappeared and only an occasional visit kept her from losing hope.

_I'm falling in love with you and which will come to pass?_

_Will the feeling do nothing but swell, or_

_Will you notice it even though I've never said anything?_

_Like snow it quietly continues to pile up_

But those same visits were growing fewer and fewer and now they wouldn't quiet the pain in her heart. Shinichi would come back for a few hours, and then he'd leave for months at time. His phone calls were frequent enough, but only a few minutes in length.

He always said he was "fine" and they talked about everything except his cases and living arrangements. But it was like he was keeping her at a distance. He was always warm to her, but he wasn't letting her really know him. He had changed since he'd left. And while it appeared he'd changed for the better, it seemed _this_ Shinichi wasn't as willing to have her in his life.

She remembered how he was before he left. Vain, cocky, yet full of energy; stubborn and unyielding. He was eager to make a name for himself and step out of his father's shadow. He wanted nothing more to join the ranks of the legendary Holmes and Akechi and bask in glory and fame that came with that status. He was ecstatic at the fuss that followed his cases and the fans that sighed over his genius deductions.

This new, foreign Shinichi had nothing of that young, foolish pride. He was mature, and strong, and oh, so very, very tired. His voice was heavy with knowledge of darkness. Shinichi, she could only assume, had realized the somber nature of his occupation. His was the job that was a product of death and misfortune. Someone would have to either die or be in either danger or distress for him to even have a job. Shinichi had his puzzles and deductions, but they came at a very serious price.

He solved murders, but that earned him the contempt of, potentially dangerous, criminals. His whole family and friends could be in danger if he upset the wrong people. He'd have to run . . . or maybe he was already running. Whichever, whatever, it didn't matter. Shinichi has changed. And he was never going to return to that bumbling idiot detective geek.

It wasn't fair! Why? Why did she love him so much, even now? There was no promise between them; she had no way of knowing how he felt about her. To love him was to suffer. To wait for him was to suffer. But why couldn't she stop? Her own heart betrayed her.

_Hold me tight when I think like this_

_I didn't want to know what it was like to fall in love with someone_

_I love you; my tears won't stop_

_Therefore, I should be free of you_

_How long will I keep thinking of you?_

There was nothing that made the pain truly stop. Any thoughts of him were bittersweet. Beautiful, but soured by her longing. And since it hurt to much to think, she didn't. At first she pretended everything was fine. She talked of Shinichi as if he still lived in his parent's empty mansion or was merely out on an errand that he was sure to return from. And when it had gotten harder to lie to herself, she stopped talking about him all together. She acknowledge him if he called or was brought up in conversation, but she acted as if he had never existed, continuing life in the most painless way she could. But occasionally she came across little reminders. She come across a soccer game while changing channels on the TV, or Conan or Heiji solve cases with the same confident look Shinichi had had, or White Day would come around and her locker would be empty of the fragrance of flowers. Or a Christmas like this one would come around, and she'd remember all the times she had shared it with Shinichi.

Not that they had been together as a couple or anything, she quickly added mentally. But they had made many memories over the years. Like the time when they were kids and Agasa had taken them caroling and Shinichi's nose had turned such a bright red that she called playfully called him Rudolph the whole evening. Or the time they had had a snow ball fight and ended up destroying the snow fort they had begged her and Shinichi's dads to help them make. Or even the last Christmas they had had together when they had been in this very same plaza surrounded by couples, much like she was now. When midnight came around, they had found themselves very embarrassed to be the only people not sharing a kiss or passionate embrace.

She chuckled at the memory, before her smile fell. They'd turned cherry-colored, and Shinichi had grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the plaza as fast as he could. Had it really been two years ago? For some reason, she couldn't really remember the Christmas before. She could remember the holiday season, Conan had been living with them, but she couldn't remember the actual night . . . The weight of her groceries seemed to get heavier as she stood gazing at the decorated plaza in silent reminiscence. Ran sighed and set her bags down, sitting on painted wrought iron bench with tiny Christmas wreaths hanging on the sides.

She looked over her remaining cash. She still had some left. Maybe she'd go back and gingerbread cookies? But - she had impulse. She got up and started toward the Kudo residence. It was in the opposite direction of her house, but she didn't mind. She had something to prove to herself. How could she have forgotten? Last Christmas . . .

_My sigh makes the window glass fog up_

_Now, a burning candle can't melt my shaking heart anymore?_

_Hold me tight, strong enough to break me_

_If we meet in a biting cold blizzard I won't feel cold and_

_I miss you every time I think of you_

Last Christmas, She had gone to the Kudo home and met Shinichi in his home. She had been able to speak to him in person, and had received his present of a pair of gloves. She'd held his hand in the darkness, and the gloves had kept her hands warm in it's place since. The same gloves she was wearing now.

She had left this year's Christmas gift at his house this year. She didn't have a mailing address for him, he was always good at skipping around the subject. So she'd left it on his dining room table hoping it'd somehow reach him the next time was in town. But if he'd come back last year, than maybe, just maybe . . . could she see him?

She couldn't stop and slipped in front of his house. No one had been shoveled the sidewalk, and the snow covered sheets of slick ice. There were no footprints leading into or out of the Kudo residence. But it had been snowing all day and the day before. If Shinichi had come, even if he had come only a few minutes before, his footprints wouldn't be visible. She could still hope.

At least she thought so until she got inside. The house was just as cold as outside, if not more. There were no signs of anyone having come to the house since she'd been here three days ago. there weren't any melting footprints either. And there was her present, on the table where she'd left it, untouched.

She'd made him a sweater awhile back, and had made him this matching scarf to go with it. But it seemed he hadn't gotten to receive it on time. She picked it up and held it close like a lifeline, but then quickly returned it to it's proper place on the table. She was being silly. Getting overemotional. But there was something very sad about an unopened present on Christmas Eve. Without another glance at it, she left the house and started the walk home.

_This scarf I knit for you_

_I'm holding it alone tonight_

_If there were an eternally falling snow_

_This feeling I have for you, could I hide it?_

She was passing through the plaza again when she noticed a strange change in the atmosphere. All the couples were glancing at their watches and talking excitedly as if they were waiting for something. Ran looked as her own clock. Less than five minutes to midnight. She's been at Shinichi's much longer than she'd thought. Her dad was probably worried about his alcohol.

"Ran."

Her heart stopped.

His hand wrapped around hers. She turned to face him. He looked exhausted, both mentally and physically tired, and yet he still had his same old grin. He seemed really happy to see her. Ran was taken off guard when he suddenly pulled her into a tight hug. This wasn't like Shinichi at all.

In his arms, something warm and fuzzy rubbed her cheek. . . He was wearing her scarf! He had run all the way here after her. He must have gone to his house just seconds after she'd left. Was that why his heart was pounding so fast?

Shinichi tilted her head up so she could see his face. He was wearing the oddest expression, like he was trying to make a decision.

They looked around at all the happy couples around them. And it was in that moment, Shinichi became sure of himself, and he leaned down and kissed her. And even after people started to leave and the lights had dimmed, he was still there. She started to cry. And even after people started to leave and the lights had dimmed, he was still there holding her. And he wasn't going to leave.

_Hold me tight when I think like this_

_I didn't want to know what it was like to fall in love with someone_

_I love you; my chest fills up_

_I want to cry out to the winter sky_

_I want to see you now_

M.P-chan: You might notice some similarities between this fanfiction and "I Remember You" that would be because this was originally a prequel for it. There are tons of parallels (like the inclusions of snow, midnight, Ran's name as the only dialogue, ect.) Basically, if you cut off the end of this fanfiction, starting where Ran passes through the plaza on her way back home from Shinichi's, you'd have the prequel. However, in this finished form, I see this as an alternate version. Basically, if Shinichi hadn't made it back in this fanfiction, then "I Remember You" would have been the result. I really like the universes the two of them take place in, and I wouldn't be surprised if I wrote more for the "I Remember You" timeline. I would for this one too, but having finished it, it's feels entirely complete and I can't see having anything else to say about except, "And they lived happily ever after."

This fanfiction was written for a dear friend, **Shinichi726** and she had requests for it:

1) it must take place after the fall of the organization

2) Shinichi can't show up until the end

3) it must end happily and with a kiss

and that all I can remember lol Well, until next time, byebye

-** M.P-chan**


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